Feuriah's Dawn Review

Today, I find myself at the work of a Miss Weird Hyena, or as her dA account is named, WolfofSorrow. After reading her comic, I find it hard to review it simply because I feel the story needs much more time to develop—that is to say, I feel as though I'm critiquing the first few chapters of a great novel. In fact, I continued to wait a bit before writing the review just so I could read another page. However, due to Miss Weird's earnest request for me to write this, I shall, and so keep in mind that as I write this, I am trying to be sensitive to the fact that it simply has a long way to go. I see little point in warning about spoilers, since the comic is less than fifty pages long at the moment. Just know that all information here will cover the entirety of the comic so far. With that said, let us begin.

Weird's story takes place in the world of "The Legend of Spyro". As I understand it, this comic revolves around a character who is to be Cynder's mother, though she has only just appeared in the story through the means of her tail. There seems to be a fair amount of original characters, however, there are also many overlooked characters from the original story, such as the elemental guardians when they were younger.

Writing: I have much to comment on here. I really enjoyed the use of different fonts in the first chapter; I thought it was something unique, something that I haven't seen in a long time if I've seen it at all. Some of the spelling is a bit off, and it's something I'm a stickler about, but it's not distracting at least. Also, often times Weird addresses it in her comments. Something that I adore about this comic is the dialect/jargon. It is, in my mind, well thought through and it really makes the dialogue believable. It's not overwhelming, and the meanings are quite clear. Things like "sitting with crossed claws" and the phrase "my little fireheart are perfectly used. It makes the place feel like a world instead of some flat copy of the realms in a video game. Everything seems pretty natural, and nothing is too hokey. The only phrase that comes to mind that confused me was "Let sleep's warm embrace cool your blood". It's very contradicting, but all that needs to be taken out is the word "warm". Besides that, the only thing that I can say that really irritated me was the fact that Weird had this lovely dialect going on, and then sort of spoiled it for me when she started writing "Fuck" etc. into the dialogue. I really think that some changes need to be made as far as the vulgar language in this universe goes. It could go towards ancient dragon names used as deity names, for example, if there were some great ice dragon who defeated armies of demonic slimy things and essentially saved the entire earth, you could say, "By Cicle's scales". I'm not sure if "Illuminus" from page 37 is like that or not, or "Lady Cosmos" later on. You could also integrate the elements or what dragons do (bite, claw, etc.) into swears by way of speech like, "Rake and claw it" instead of "Damn it". Or, you could go completely random like The Wheel of Time series with something like "Blood and ashes!". 8/10, because I was so taken by the dialect. I'm not even kidding.

Top Art: I have to admit, I have a certain affinity for the style used in the first chapter. Something about the pencil lines under the coloring really just…sort of brought me there. I really think it's more appealing than the coloring that came afterwards; it seems like it's too smooth to me. Not that it's not pretty, because it is. Generally I think that the top art is very impressive. Character design was obviously thought out, and I like that all the dragons look like they belong in the universe. There's nothing that really irks me about it—but ah, I'm getting into the characters section, here, so I'll stop blithering. The poses are really good; sometimes they even show emotion where a face wouldn't have to. I thought that was impressive. Body language is eternally important. On the other hand, the facial expressions, especially concerning the eyes, could do with just a bit of practice. However, it's not something I think a lot of people notice. I just think it would greatly enhance the characters. Perhaps an expression meme is in order? 7/10


Bottom Art: The backgrounds are usually…noticeably not especially good. I feel like perhaps there isn't as much effort put into them, but I could be wrong, and my deepest apologies if I offend here. I'm glad that there are backgrounds, though, and some of them that seem blurred, such as mountain backgrounds, are actually quite nice. It's just that some of them feel like placeholders to me. The coloring matches the backgrounds for the most part, and I think that if Weird were to improve her background skills, she would have to take a step up in coloring them as well; adding more detail would be crucial to a style change. Sometimes the inaccuracy or the blandly drawn backgrounds draw attention, which isn't really a good thing. I will say though, that the backgrounds that Weird does seem to put a lot of effort into, such as the starry night skies and some of the buildings and statues, are quite impressive. 5/10

Characters: Overall, I'm impressed. As with most things, it's too early to get a real grasp on the characters, but to me they all seem fairly realistic. As harsh as Acerbus is, I feel like the way that he acts is still very believable. I feel the same way about Infernacus. Though the moods of these two seem to switch off and on, I'm getting a few hints throughout the story that this is completely normal for their feelings and experiences at the time. …A lot less for Acerbus, but I can still really see his personality as realistic. I was never taken aback at their reactions or their dialogue. I think that, kept constant, these are two very solid characters. I don't feel that it's over done at all. I feel that Terrador is perhaps misrepresented a little bit; I feel that he's playing a bit of the "joker" role when he's really, if I remember correctly, more of a straight-laced, serious militaristic kind of guy. …Er, dragon. But I feel that as a child, it's probably acceptable, so it's something that I noticed but that doesn't bother me. I also like that the female dragons and the male dragons look pretty much the same, at least to me. I'm glad that she didn't have to feminize any of her character's appearances—I honestly think that's brilliant work. (I originally thought that Volga was a young, sprightly male. I loved it.) I mentioned in my last review that many of the names were clearly out of place. …I can't really say one way or another here, as I'm not sure where Weird gets her name ideas, and there are many words that have to do with earth, fire, etc. that I might be overlooking. Some of them certainly sound like they belong, at least. I like that as far as character design goes, each of them are, in my mind, colored appropriately—there's not too many weird combinations or unsightly splotches used just to make the characters "unique". I feel that anything fitting that description is pretty much done for style; not to make the characters different or unusual. It's pretty much all very cut and dry, and I like it. It's refreshing to see dragons that look like dragons instead of toned down sparkledogs, and I think the designs fit the canon story very well. The only real gripe I have is that there are a lot of characters. It's hard for me personally to keep up with who's who and if they're important and what they do, and all of that. Of course, I'm sure that this will change with time, since the story seems to still in its early stages. I think this category earns a 9/10. Perhaps I'm being generous, but I will stand by my decision for now.

Character Development: …This is perhaps one of the hardest categories, due to the length of the comic. It's really hard to expect characters to develop this early on, and so, regrettably, I'm scratching this section. Weird's comic shall be rated out of 80 points(You shall see why in a bit; trust me, I'm not taking off twenty points for one category). I apologize for any inconvenience, and I will be happy to alter this once I feel I've gained a proper sense of how the characters develop and grow over time. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Story: I like that the story doesn't have to do with fan children of Cynder and Spyro. Goodness gracious. I've seen one too many watered down plots of this sort, and it just doesn't fly with me anymore unless you've got a lot going for you. Now that that's out of the way, I can get down to business. Right now, I feel like this story could go a lot of different ways, all exciting. I feel like there is a lot that is going to happen in this story, and that makes me anticipate and look forward to each new page. This has a lot going for it. Since the description isn't particularly detailed, many things could happen, and it makes me curious; makes me want to keep reading. Not much has unfolded yet, and things are moving slowly, but I sincerely hope to see many, many pages in which the story is let loose. 7/10

Story Development: There's not much to work with here yet, and I really, really don't want to be unfair. This is the second category I mentioned that I am taking ten points off of. Let me say this though; I feel like it's developing at the pace it needs to be.

Originality and Clichés: Character design. Brilliant originality while still constraining to normal looking dragons. She doesn't rely on jewelry or armor or bizarre color combinations to make things unique or likeable. It's amazing that someone finally figured this out, and I applaud Miss Weird. One huge cliché that I must bring up: the purple egg. I really hope this is explained, because I will take points off for it. How in the world has there been, for (assumedly) all of time, a purple egg every ten generations, and suddenly one springs up out of nowhere? And then I assume tradition takes up again because of Spyro. It's something that really claws at my brain. I'm kind of hoping it's not just a plot device, that it's actually a black egg or a blue egg that got weird lighting all the time somehow. Maybe someone painted it purple? I understand that the world is trying to correct itself by bringing good about, but surely that good could have waited for another nine generations? I guess what I'm saying is, I really, really hope this has a good story behind it. Since there's nothing else I can really think of at the moment, I'll stop here. I'll give it an even 5/10.

Plot: The plot is intriguing. It's not particularly striking, but I feel like even though it's centered around a character who we haven't quite met yet, and also the fact that it's ultimate ending (Spyro's days in the world) is already told, it has a great amount of potential. It could go any which way. I honestly wasn't sure if the egg would die or not, or if it was a plot device to make way for some other egg. In this way, it doesn't feel like everything is one big determined bowl of cliché cake mix. It's too soon to tell, but I have great expectations for this plot. It isn't particularly rousing, but it's interesting in a quiet, subtle way—which I think I ultimately prefer. It's a delicate tactic, and I appreciate it. 7/10, because I like it right now, but I need to give it room to grow or change.

Rereadability: I enjoy rereading this. I've already read it all twice, and I'd do it again. It doesn't get old very fast, and I catch something small that I missed every time I read it—some facial detail or an expression I missed. If I forget a detail, it's not a pain in the butt to go and look through the pages again, and I often find myself reading the whole page just to get to the detail I'm looking for. Once the comic gets longer, I may not have the stamina to do this, however, and this in particular is a hard category to judge given the comic's current short length. So, I'll rate this at a 7/10, because as of right now, it's a joy to reread and just as in the above category, I'm leaving it room to change.

Total Score: 55/80

Painted Weasel's Extra Comments and Suggestions:

Most of my review was influenced by the fact that it's just too soon for me to get a good grasp on everything as a whole. It's hard to see how the comic works together, and I really feel that, after reading what I have, many a good choice will be made in character and story development.

I really enjoy reading your series. I think you have an amazing talent for dialect and I hope to see some positive changes and improvements. I'm really interested in how the story will unfold; I think you have a sense of how to subtly pull readers in without using cheesy cliffhangers or lots of silly clichés. If there is a time at which you think this series has gotten long enough and you want me to re-review this, I will gladly do so. Thank you for bringing your series to my attention.